37 days have passed and 2 left until it is decided if Michael is fit to stand trial. January 19th brought an end to the initial 5 day fitness assessment.  The Forensic Unit wanted him back for a further 30 day assessment.  But as I soon found out, he is 18 and he has rights.  All this time, I thought that as a parent, I (we) would be the decission makers.

-DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED!-

He had to agree to the 30 assessment!  But he thought he was coming home.  If he didn’t agree -go directly to jail-.  And luckily, the crown and duty counsel agreed to let his brother talk to him.  It took his big brother to graphically tell him what jail might be like and have him agree to the 30 days.  And the crown actually wanted 48 hours notice if the assessment was to finish earlier so he woul not be sent to jail (at least that is my understanding, but like I said before, don’t take anything for granted!!).

I miss him so much.  I can’t visit him.  I can talk to him on the phone, but from all of the daily calls we have, only 3 or 4 of those, he has not hung up on me.  His dad and brother visit.  On their last visit, he asked what he did and why he was there.  They want to have him fit, but he knows not what he did and family will not tell him.  And he thinks that he is coming home on Tuesday after his court appearance.

Please tell me I have done the right thing.  I am scared.  I am beside myself.  I am lost!!  I want my child back, the one I remember up until a few years ago, without the sudden rages and violent outburts, the boy that would always be full of hugs and kisses, stroke my head and play with my hair.

I miss you sweetie!