Don’t know what to do anymore. It’s like living with Jekyl and Hyde. For 18 years, I have tried to cope as best I could, but looks like another teary night. Unfortunately, Michael has just about every behavior problem that comes with TS. I can handle the taking off, it’s just the worry of where he is and what might happen, but I can’t handle the abusive behavior. Although we all are affected by his outbursts, it is I who receives the worst, the violent ones. Tonight, I thought I was going to die. The occassional hit in the back is one thing, but tonight, he choked me. Claw marks on my back, bruised knuckles from where I flew into the mantle, marks and bruises on my back and a goose egg on my head. I couldn’t get to a phone.

Don’t want to call the police. They’ll arrest him, I’m sure. And jail is not the place for him. Moderate to severe retardation does not go well in jail, I’m sure. And I know, it will seem like a lietime before he ever sees a group home.